We're all just square pegs in round holes.

It's amazing how you can think you know exactly what a person is like, can interact with them on a regular basis for years on end, only for one single event to cascade into the beautiful realisation that there's so much more to them than you originally thought.

Maybe sometimes it's just because you aren't ready for it. Maybe some things are meant to be hidden until their due time. Still, I've known Wen for something like three and a half years, or at least known of her existence, but the past month has made me realise that I really didn't know her very well at all. And there's times where I regret not noticing or realising or doing something sooner, at least just talking to her. But she's right when she says that I wasn't ready for all this before. Certainly before this year, at the very least.

She's absolutely amazing. I honestly don't know why me, of all people. But I'm very glad, and very thankful, and extremely happy that it is actually me. I'm constantly fascinated by what she does and her interests and her life. And at the same time, I'm learning things about myself that I never even knew before.

One month tomorrow. I guess it's still early days yet but...I'm really happy with how my life is right now.

Even if I haven't finished all my assessments yet.

Even if I didn't make it in to the ADF.

Actually, not getting in to the ADF means I'll be taking an Honours year next year in Politics. I'm actually pretty excited at the thought of writing 15,000-18,000 words on a topic of my choice. Still need to find a Politics staff member willing to supervise me and I need to flesh out my thesis topic with them.

PAX Australia date for next year has been announced. Keen to attend.

I am blessed with the very best of friends.

I play way too much Dota 2 for my own good.

I don't see my Melbourne Uni friends as often as I should.

Exams are coming, and that means I need to start thinking of songs to parody.

Who even reads this thing any more?

Update

Whew, what a month it has been! First there was Lynn and Tony's 21st, then MCAC Social Night (pics for both will be up soon, I promise! Maybe...) Bill got a blog here, and as befits Bill it's suitably...capitalist. And evil. Though I guess evil capitalism is a bit like saying stupid Americans.

Anyway, the big news for me is that I'm no longer single! On the day that I'm typing this, Lynn and myself will have been Facebook official for one week :) I guess it's a big step for me, but it's also an exciting step! Can't wait to see what the future brings ^^

Well, I know what tomorrow is going to bring, at least. Got a job interview for Coles out in Rowville...kinda nervous, but not really. Probably won't get it, since I'll be heading off to China at the end of the year (2.5 months in total) for a 6 week in-country language study exchange, as well as travelling, and spending Chinese New Year in China for the first time! Really excited, but also sad that I'll miss out on most of the holiday break here in Australia. Christmas, New Years, my birthday...:( Apprehensive, nervous, and excited, all at the same time!

That's it for me for now, hope you're all enjoying your midsemester breaks :) Exams are comingggggg! D:

Good weekend

LOL FROM AMANDA (http://zzzultraviolet.blogspot.com/)
Love it. xD

Weekend was pretty good, all things considered. Caught up with some people, downloaded Photoshop and FL Studio. Going to delve into my artistic side :D

I think...that I might be falling for a girl. Woman. Young lady. But it's exceedingly complex and I don't want to think about it right now, especially with all the work that's flying around. Already a third through the semester, can you believe it?

Bio essay draft due in 22 and a bit hours. Haven't started. 1000 words to go.

M Magazine

Sam found this in The Age M Magazine on Saturday.

Q: I'm in love with one of my best friends at school. I've asked her out a few times, but was rejected because she didn't want to ruin our friendship. I started feeling sad all the time, as if I was going insane. A week ago, I asked her out again, telling her not to worry about spoiling our friendship, but she would rather be friends. I don't want to move on. She is perfect for me. I wrote her a song, but haven't played it for her yet. How can I make her love me? I am small, with acne scars and braces. Does that matter?

A: It is easy for older people to belittle young love. While all emotions are intense at your age, your pain is real.

The fear of spoiling a friendship can be very real, but it can also be a gentle excuse to try not to hurt a friend's feelings.

If you continue to put her on the spot she may feel that the only way to escape an awkward situation is to end the friendship, and that would mean losing everything.

There is no way to "make" someone love you, and you might lose her respect if you are too persistent. Do not play your song to her. She might not know how to react and could feel cornered. It would be better to record the song and let her listen to it privately.

I am not going to tell you to move on, or that you are too young and have met too few girls to know if she's "the one". You are experiencing real pain and are genuinely confused about how best to act.

You are more likely to have some success if you are able to maintain your closeness as friends, so try not to push her away from you by pestering her. Rather, focus on being a good friend by giving her space without demands or expectations.

As time passes, you will become a more and more invaluable friend. She will associate your companionship with fun, not embarrassment. She will look forward to seeing you, not feel that she wants to avoid you.

If love is going to blossom it will do so. Over time, she might start to see you in a new light, but try not to "make" this happen.

It is difficult to be patient and to take things slowly when you age young and impetuous, but this is a situation that will sort itself out over time. Meanwhile, be grateful that your friendship means that you can spend some time in the company of the girl you are so fond of.

As far as looks go, love is blind but these outward features can form an initial barrier to attraction. Yet again, time can help people to see past the superficial to the heart beneath.

If only I had read this earlier...

ISL

Ladies and guys

Ladies...don't change who you are. Never change. Unless it's for yourself. If a guy can't see that you're perfect the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you. Just don't be so picky with looks. Think of guys as a packet of oreos. At the end of the day, you don't really pay attention to the packaging except to identify that they are indeed oreos, packaging which ends up in the bin anyway. And guys crumble easily just like oreos. And oreos are made to be licked ;) Just don't twist us beforehand.

Guys...just take a chance. If there's a girl that you like, let her know. Don't just hint at it; while she may get the hints, unless she replies, there'll be that doubt in your mind that she might juts be ignoring your hints and thus doesn't like you. Just outright tell her. If she likes you too, well, congratulations. If she doesn't, just be her friend. She might change her mind, she might not. But if she's that awesome that you like her, friends is better than nothing.

Ladies...if you like a guy, tell him. Hints are useless. They aren't definitive, solid. Who knows, you might just be flirting. Yes. We really are so thick that we need you to lay it out for us. Much obliged. Much of what I said above for guys applies equally as much to you. If a guy likes you, and all he's doing is hinting at it (against my advice), actually reply. Not with more hints, but an actual yes/no kind of reply. Otherwise we just have this hope and it slowly eats away at us.

Guys...never go out with a girl who's friends with the one you like, just so you can spend more time with her. It's unfair to the girl that you're essentially using, and the girl that you like will probably assume that, even if you once liked her, you no longer do anymore. It's basically shooting yourself in the foot; a retarded idea in theory, and even worse in practice. If you date a girl, make sure it's because you actually like her, not because you like her friend/s.

Okay, I need to go to Uni now to study/Anime Club marathon + free Subway. Hmm.

ISL

New blog

So, I've got a new blog. I'm going to do this one serious, too. Cause...well, I've grown up a bit, I think. A lot. Perception of my surroundings, of my life, has changed. I'm no longer the person I was a year ago.

Up until about a week ago, I had settled into a pretty good routine. Friends I could talk to, gossip with, trust. School was routine, life was pleasant. Even my relationship with my family had settled down to manageable levels (no more late-night arguments). Oh, how naive I was. Peace, so easily won, could not have lasted long.

I'm in some deep shit, now. Said some things I guess I shouldn't have, pursued a topic of discussion when it was clearly the wrong thing to do. Can't take back anything I've said, but hell, you've made me pay for it. I miss you. Can we please talk? Don't know if you'll even see this...don't know if you even care any more. I do. You're everything to me.

Seems like everyone's all grown up now. I mean, one moment we're playing four square in the schoolyard, getting to know each other after moving from different schools, and now we're preparing for the rest of our lives, about to seperate for the final time. Where'd all the time go? I miss being a kid. I'd give anything to go back to when nothing mattered. Carefree days of idyllic existance punctuated by brief but distant bursts of reality. Memory is Man's greatest gift, as well as his greatest curse.

A close friend said to me today, as she was leaving MSN for the night, that we had a good "D&M", Deep and Meaningful. Hadn't thought about it that way, to tell you the truth, but now that I look at it, that's what we had. But at the time, it just seemed like talking, no unusual emotional connections or anything. Does that mean everything I do is deep and meaningful, to someone? Maybe I need to start paying more attention to my actions (and inactions, as the case may be). Everything has an effect, even nothing.

To more physical, realistic, mundane things; Hungy gave me Firefly today! Thanks Vince, I'll get it back to you asap. Biology SAC tomorrow, I'm about a third of the way done now...and it's 12:35am. Joy oh joy. Another late night for me. Apparently I'm unblocked from Stooph/Hungy/Wong's blog, so it'll be good to catch up on the comings and goings there. It's been about 10 days since the Formal, and everyone's already moved on...biggest news of note recently is that Charles was called up to dance at Assembly (out of the 600 guys present) along with the Principal and Mr Wood, amongst others. Oh, and according to Francis, there's a hot Asian student teacher in the music department. MHS guys, I swear =="

Memory of the day: September 11, 2001.
Lucy Feng's family arrives at Melbourne International Airport from China.
Garrett's 11th birthday.
Normal Grade 4 school day.
3,017 people of various nationalities are killed in the 9/11 attacks in New York, Virginia and Pennsylvania. Footage of the two jumbo jets slamming into the North and South Towers are embedded in my memory. The Falling Man becomes my desktop wallpaper.