Triangular

Apparently, from a guy called "Nuwayhid". But yeah, pretty true right?

Funny stuff 6

Poor violinists. Respect. :D

Mottos

Just some mottos that I've found in recent days...

Repensum est Canicula (Payback is a bitch) - SolForce, Sword of the Stars
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus (Never tickle a sleeping dragon) - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Nemo me impune lacessit (No-one attacks me with impunity) - Royal Motto of Scotland
Exitus Acta Probat (The end justifies the means) - UNSC Spirit of Fire, Halo Wars
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum (Man should not piss against the wind) - Greek temple-like building, Amsterdam

Funny stuff 5

Running out of text ones, so enjoy these pictures :D

Funny stuff 4

Remember, none of this stuff is from me! GO INTERNET!

~~~

Specimen; Teeny Bopper ; (genus; Teenikin bopperili.)
General Description:
In this case, we are observing the ‘AzN~~~~’ subspecies of TB, each race, generally has their own kind of TB, but this is the one I am most familiar with.
Likes: Name Brands, Any car that was featured on Initial D, Morning Glory, Sanrio, Zogabi, Sticker Photos, Dream Photos, Daytona, Counter-strike, WarCraft, Bitching, Backstabbing, Heavily Peroxided Hair. DDR.
Dislikes: Not being able to afford name brands, Other TB’s, Anyone deemed ‘cooler’ than themselves, People who don’t wear name brands, people with black hair, anyone that isn’t AzN~~~~.
Can Be Seen At: LAN Café’s, VA, Excalibur, Whitehouse, Chapel St, Outside underage Club venues (most popular being Salt, Soul, Red, Blue, Green, Magenta.), Hanging around State Library, Sticker Photo shops, Morning Glory, the “CT”, Box Hill, “Glenny” “Shoppo”
Can’t Live Without: Mobile Phone (with enough dangly decorations to cause a landslide, and little fluffy things the size of a small child, and photo compatibility to add to their plethora of photos taken with all their TB friends they don’t actually like), Trends to follow, “Pocket Money” (has been known to rival the family fortune of some lower income households.)

-------------Demeanour
Females: (Towards Males) Ridiculously Cute, Ditzy, Disarmingly Nice, (This, is scientifically proven to be all an act, to attract a TB of the opposite sex, who, unknowingly will be sucked dry (emotionally, financially, more the latter) and discarded in a few weeks. Much like those Praying Mantis things you see on the Discovery Channel.)
(Towards Females) Calculating (ie. Breast size, or in fact, any evidence of chestal baggage whatsoever), Cold, Extremely Snobby, Backstabbing, General Bitch. (When Males of the genus are not around, the real personality of the Female ‘AzN’ TB comes to the fore. Most evident in the many enemies they make during their regular incursions into other TB’s territories (The female of the species is much like the Male of certain large predatory cats, in that they roam a wide and well defined boundary, with a desired number of Males within, worshipping them. The only time a Male will see this side, is when they are in a relationship with one, and by then it is too late.)
Males: (Towards Females) Overtly Loud Mouthed trash talking gangsters.
(Towards Males) Overtly Loud Mouthed trash talking gangsters. Extremely Competitive, love talking themselves up. Tends to over exaggerate, everything, including attractiveness, their “admirers”, and their “rice ride”.

-------------Distinguishing Features
Females: Hair colour: Never ever Black, due to perceived ‘uncoolness’ of having a natural hair colour. Can vary from either “I washed my hair with industrial strength cleaner” blonde to “I have just enough colouring to be cool” brown. May also involve highlights of other, cuteness enhancing colours.
Hair Style: Whatever is trendy in Japan/Hong Kong/Korea. Hair if needed to be clipped, usually full of “cuteness enhancing” pink/blue hello kitty/pucca/blue bear/morning glory clips. Takes at least 45 minutes to create. Is more artificial than biological, due to repeated chemical straightening/permin g treatments. There has been many cases of the hair actually taking on a life of it’s own, and controlling the TB itself (Because of the little difference in demeanour between a regular TB and one affected with the above disorder is so minute, the number of victims is unknown.)
Males: Hair Colour: See Females. Although, replace cuteness with ‘Hardcaw gangstaZ’
Hair Style: There are two main types. Down or Up. Down is either a middle part, or something stemming from the “middle part” (commonly known as ‘Default Asian Hair’) “Up” generally involves…. Well… spikes… depending on ‘hardcoreness’ the length of the spikes increase accordingly. Has been compared to stelecmites and antlers on a deer. Both involving an environmentally unfriendly amount of hair product, sometimes even more than the Female TB.

-------------Clothing: Generally, extremely fixated on brand names (that they’ve stolen, or haggled from some black market in Chinatown or Malaysia), and will go to no end to bring up talk about clothes in general conversation, just so they can talk about what brand they are wearing. “Hey, like my new pants/top/scarf?”
-------------Females
Would Like: Anything by Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic, Sass and Bides, etc.
Actually Wears: Supre, Miss Shop, Misc. Imitation Clothes from South East Asia, Anything deemed cute or “KaWaAaIiizZzZ~~~!!¬ !~~” by peers. Also, has an abnormal affinity with scarves and spray-paint jeans (with flares that can envelope a developing nation), even in hot weather. Very fickle, and will change entire wardrobe according to what the girl they hate is wearing. Simliar to normal girls clothes, but usually 1 or 5 sizes smaller. Wardrobe in severe cases is worth more than the house which houses them.
-------------Males
Would Like: Anything by Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfinger, Hugo Boss etc.
Actually Wears: Mooks, Giodarno, Stussy, Imitation Clothes from South East Asia
Exclusively dresses in the colours: white black and tan. Clothes are either on the “suss” side of tight, or the “homeboy” side of baggy (usually with the waistband hovering about the skinny boy’s ankles).

-------------Language
TB’s speak in a total sub dialect of English, which normal people have the capability of understanding, but this involves an incredible amount of brainpower that only 60% of the population possesses. When speaking the males of the species tend to say “Man” “Yo” “bro” “dude” and “sup” a lot, interspersed with a lot of grunting and head nodding. The Females, on the other hand, are somewhat at the other hand of the scale, as they tend to run words together, producing an entirely incomprehensible babble eg: “weeeeeiiheywhatchuuptotodayhowyabeenivebeenkewlhaveyouseenmynewscarfisntitcuteohmygodmyphonesringingsorry”. Their language deteriorates even more online, where communicating with a TB is akin to talking to a Giant SMS message, with more pictures. Eg. Common phrases encountered online include:
-------------Girls
Hi, how are you?
"e3iOwO3zZ HuNN4iiZz~!!! mwAahZ~! wAtcHuZ b3eN aRpzZ `2~~~??"

I must be going now, I’ll talk to you another time.
"o3wZz~~ ai` gOtz tA gO3Z bUbBi3Z~~~ iMMa tOrk `2 yOoHz `8rZ mMk4iiZ~??"

Good bye.
"bUh`b4iZz~~!! MwaHhZz~!! LuB chUuZ~!!! (k)(l)(f)"

Oh no.
“OmiiGaWdzZ~~!!! OmGzZzzZZZ~!!!!!!!!1 11one”

I don’t think that girl is very nice.
“OmiFaRk`N gAwDzzZ dAt b!tCh~???!!!!?!!!”

I find that hilarious.
“LoLLi3z~!!! rOfFl3Zz~!! LoOlzZ~!! K3k3k3k.. shOo faRn3yZ~~!!!??!!”

Do you like the present I received from my boyfriend; isn’t it pretty?
“OmiGaWdzZ~~~aAAwwWz z~~ mAii bOO gAb diZ 2 me3hZ~!! ai LuBz mAi huNnaiiZ~~!!!! itSh shOo pw3ttiii~!!!!”

I don’t know.
“iuNnOeZz~!!” or “ieRnO3z~~!!” or “*shwuGz*”

-------------Guys
Hello how are you? -
"supz" or “sarp” commonly followed by “man, dude or manGz”

Yes, thank you -
"yer"

No, I dont want to -
"nar"

I don’t know. -
“the fk?”

I've got to go, i'll speak to you again another time. -
"gtg man"

Goodbye -
"l8r"

I find her very attractive -
"fkn hot bish"

Oh my, that news really surprises me -
"fk man"

I think you are being unfair, and hostile. -
"fk u man"

Perhaps you should think before you say something quite so unjust? -
"stfu noob"

Would you like to accompany me upon an outing? -
"go cs man"

---------------General Language Notes
How to say “love”: luV, LuBz, wuV, wuBz, h34rTz, riC3 bOi 4 foUndaSh`N kwe3n, me3hZ 4 yoOhZ, and the most perplexing of them all…“eshtOOhs” - is "ess, too".. meaning, "s" and "2".. meaning.. "s2" meaning.. "heart".. meaning "love"; “OmiGawDzZ RiC3 bOi esHtOOhZ FoUndAsHuN Kw3eN”.
Affectionate names: huN, huNnaiiZ, beYbiiZ, baiBaiZ, buBbi3z, buU, bOO

Funny stuff 3

More funnies! :D Enjoy!
Note: I don't claim ANY of this as my own work. Props to the Internet and all those bored guys out there :D

~~~

American and Chinese conversation
This is a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Chinese authorities off the coast of Vietnam in South China Sea in October 1980.
CHINESE: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CHINESE: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CHINESE: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier USS MIDWAY, the second largest ship in the United States Pacific Fleet.
We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CHINESE: This is a lighthouse.

~~~

George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?"
Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
George: "Great. Lay it on me."
Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new leader of China."
George: "That's what I want to know."
Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you."
George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "I mean the fellow's name."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The guy in China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The new leader of China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The Chinaman!"
Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China."
George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
George: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"
Condoleeza: "That's the man's name."
George: "That's whose name?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East."
Condoleeza: "That's correct."
George: "Then who is in China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir is in China?"
Condoleeza: "No, sir."
George: "Then who is?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir?"
Condoleeza: "No, sir."
George: "Look, Condoleeza. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone."
Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
George: "No, thanks."
Condoleeza: "You want Kofi?"
George: "No."
Condoleeza: "You don't want Kofi."
George: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
George: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"
Condoleeza: "And call who?"
George: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"
Condoleeza: "Hu is the guy in China."
George: "Will you stay out of China?!"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Kofi."
George: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."

Funny stuff 2

Continuing on from yesterday's theme...
Note: I don't claim ANY of this as my own work. Props to the Internet and all those bored guys out there :D

The Laws of Anime!

Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

Law of Inexhaustability
No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't....

Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: be female, will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation, and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
The Hero/Leader
His girlfriend
His Best Friend/Rival
A Hulking Brute
A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
Extreme
Coolness
Amazing intelligence
Incredible irritation

Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary - Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

Funny stuff

If you're stressing about exams, which you most likely are, here's some stuff that will hopefully make you smile ^^ One a day for the next few days!

Note: I don't claim ANY of this as my own work. Props to the Internet and all those bored guys out there :D
~~~

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish & Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total -378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This is due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits/second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has .001 second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles/household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles; not counting stops to do what most of us do at lease once every 31 hours, plus eating etc. So Santa's sleigh must be moving at 650 miles/second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles/second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles/hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000 / 3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 lb.), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300lb. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see #1) can pull 10 TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9, reindeer. We need 214,200. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the ocean-liner Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles/second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within .00426 of a second. Meanwhile, Santa, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa, being very conservative in terms of guessing Santa's weight, would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lb. of force. If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.