Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Stuck at home

So there's a LAN at Hungy's today. So why am I still at home? Well, it goes a little something like this:

Last night, I told my mother that I would be going to Hungy's today. Her first reaction was "Why didn't you go yesterday?". See, I had gone to St Kilda yesterday to pick up my Chinese visa for my upcoming trip to the Motherland. But since Hungy only came up with the idea of the LAN yesterday afternoon after I had already returned home, it would have been inconcievable for me to have attended a non-existant LAN yesterday. But irregardless of that, mother then decided that having me buy another Metcard just to go to Hungy's to play games would be a waste of money. Instead, she suggested that I stay home and play on the Wii. Apparently I'll get lots of exercise or something. Hahahahahahahahaha. I played Brothers in Arms. Sat there on the couch and blasted Nazi scum left and right. Yeah. Exercise.

The interesting point is that my mother continually insists that I get out of the house. I'm fairly sure a two-hour round trip on public transport to Hungy's is more outdoors than me sitting at home on the laptop/Wii.

On another note, I have a little black notebook with which I am supposed to take note of all the things I need to acquire in China. Mother wants medicine. She has not given me the box that the medicine comes in, nor the bottle which holds the medicine, nor the medicine itself, so I have literally no idea of what I'm supposed to buy for her. And yet somehow, "Write it down!" as if I ought to know already.

Sunday afternoon, mother's bringing sister home from North Shore. Doesn't have keys for some reason, so she stands at the back door and yells for me to open it. At that time, I'm running around the house closing all the curtains, because it's getting dark. When I finish, I go back to my room and put my headset on. At that moment, the back door slams open and mother storms to my room loudly denouncing my use of the headset and thus the inability to hear her.
Question 1: How the fuck am I supposed to hear you from the other side of the house.
Question 2: Why don't you get your facts straight before bitching about me.
Question 3: How the fuck did you open the door if you didn't have keys.
Question 4: Did you realise that even if I had been in my room, without my headset on, there would have been no way I could have heard you from the back door anyway.
Question 5: How about next time, instead of standing at the back door, actually walk 8 metres to my window and see if I'm there or not. Tap on the glass or something.
Question 6: Where the fuck was my sister during all of this? With your keys? I don't think so. Your keys only open the house doors, not the mailbox or anything.
And then last night, I hear her on the phone to one of her friends bitching about me. Yeah, well, fuck you too.

Stupid old stingy hag.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

You know you've just been on bivouac when...

1. The odours you've produced have created another hole in the ozone layer.
2. Your hair has more oil buildup than the Gulf of Mexico.
3. All non-Cadet food tastes good.
4. All Cadet food tastes shit.
5. You wake up and run to the firepit, despite not having one in your house.
6. You prefer having your mother boss you around than your sergeant.
7. The absence of fire in your life leads to small acts of pyromania.
8. Having free time makes you feel guilty.
9. When you blow your nose, black globs from smoke inhalation come out.
10. Walking without needing to check your bearing on a map and compass is pure bliss.
11. You're thankful that there's no semen on the toilet seat.
12. You accidentally address older males as "Sir" and older females as "Ma'am".
13. You realise that there's food that doesn't come from a tin or a box.
14. Not having to get permission to get food or clothes or new batteries feels wierd.
15. You might not believe in God, but you thank Him anyway for not having to recondition your bedroom after you wake up.
16. Living in a structure not hold up by hutchie cord makes you feel godlike.
17. When you need to go to the toilet, you're happy that you can actually go.
18. You begin to kick the leaves and twigs away from your oven/microwave/stove when you start cooking.
19. Woodless fires amaze you.
20. You feel like a rebel when you put your hands in your pockets.
And as the Colonel always says, you "accidentally ask your mother to pass the fucking salt".

MHSCU Bivouac 2010 was awesome. Spent most of it with Ramsay, and it was heaps of fun. Wish I could go to Annual as well. Saw some real improvement in those kids while I was there, future in the Unit isn't so doubtful anymore. Will definitely go visit whenever I get the chance. Didn't sponge off the guys too much, I think...kind of acted as a spare NCO whenever they needed one. Solid performance from the NCOs and the officers. Learnt a lot, hopefully helped others learn a little. Had a good time. Thanks for having me over!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Pop culture reference 1

"The band The Flight of the Conchords references Jacques Cousteau in their song Foux du Fa Fa, when Bret holds up a fish- referring to Cousteau's study of the ocean."


Worst. Reference. Ever.


I mean, based on that, I could hold up a picture of the Sun, and be referencing Jaye Davidson. Exactly. Fuck you Internet.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A calculated insult

Ghandi may have said "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", but better you and me without an eye, than me alone.

On that note, I think it's important that we tailor responses to fit the impetus that we're responding to. Capital punishment for murderers. Car impoundment for speeders. And if you exclude me from a conversation, you're damned sure I'll exclude you back somehow.

Friends' blog list updated (one removal).

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Are you secretly a woman?

Well, obviously if you're female already this doesn't apply to you. Unless you're a female man.

I was showering earlier, and as I was getting dressed afterwards I thought about something I was told when I went to Thailand at the end of 2008. Or was it 2007? I can't quite remember anymore. Well, it was the time I kissed a transvestite. But that's a totally different story.

Thailand is quite famous for its ladyboys, that is, boys who elect to undergo sex changes, which feed its copious tourist industry.

Our tour guide told us of a method which families use to see if their young male children will grow up to be ladyboys. They watch how they put their clothes on after they wash. If they put the pants on first, they may show inclination to be a ladyboy. If they put their shirt on first, they probably won't show any inclination.

So. Are you secretly a woman? Do you put your pants on first after you shower, or your shirt?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Another Facebook event!/event.php?eid=108761519170473

Apparently, because "1.4 billion people live on less than $1.25 (US) a day.", Oaktree Foundation wants more people to join in. So for five days, they want people to try and eat for only AU$2.00 per day.

Now, not even taking into consideration basic economic principles, namely differences in purchasing power parity (PPP), this is another pointless event to...raise awareness, right? Perhaps Oaktree wants the money saved to be donated to them. Or maybe not.

"Why get involved?
-Lots of opportunities to meet other people (bonded by your hunger) including LAUNCH NIGHT on June 26th
-Think about all the money you will save! (and the weight you will lose?)
-Most importantly, it's a snapshot into the lives of 1.4 billion people around the world."

Oh joy. Reason number one: to be social.
Reason number two: save money.
Reason number three: Think about others.
Because that kind of thing can only be done by attempting to starve yourself, right?

Well, anyway, for a completely different reason I've been reading about the Big Mac Index (, just as an example of PPP, basically the difference in the ability of different currencies to buy the same product in different countries. Now, perhaps it is true that there are 1.4 billion people today living on less than US$1.25 per day. In India, with a population of 1.18 billion, that'll buy you a Big Mac. It won't in any other country. In Tokyo, that same Big Mac will take the average worker 10 minutes to earn. In Nairobi, the average worker needs to work for 158 minutes to earn one.

The point of all this? $2 in Australia is very different to 11 yuan in China, or 77 rupees in India, or 31,000 Vietnamese Dong. You can't use an arbitrary value just to determine the living standards of people in different countries.

Get a grip, Oaktree. Or are you going to go the way of a whole host of other non-governmental organisations, down the aisle of purported 'evidence', fact-twisting and biased representation?

I'm so forgetful

Well! You see, before, I was studying. Okay, I lie. I was playing Runescape. And I looked at the clock and I realised it was 4:45. So I was like, "what do I have to do..." And then I remembered! So I went and downloaded "A Short History of Nearly Everything", by Bill Bryson. Looks like I'll be reading that for the next few days...apparently it's pretty heavily bio-oriented, so that'll be my Bio revision for the exam ^^ And then I had the feeling where you need to do something, but you can't quite remember what it is. So I sat there for a while. And a while longer. Figured it was something I needed to download, so trawled around btjunkie (the torrent site I use) for a while longer, to no avail. So somehow I ended up thinking about primary school. And then somehow, from there, to a random convo I had with a friend yesterday in which we went from talking about hot air balloons to WUUUUFFF to barking dogs to pewpew laser beams (which I was taught actually sound better as 'tsew tsew'), to plasma cannons, to Rattata, to Pokemon, to demotivational pictures, to Neutrogena, to out-of-context quotations, to me being a 'pulpy little bitch', to titties (I didn't bring that one up!), to richness, to soup.

I love rambling conversations! If I can ramble with you, then we're going to get along just fine :)

Then it hit me.

I needed to turn the ducted heating on.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Talking to you

I know these replies you're giving me. You don't really want to talk to me, but you're too polite to not answer. But that's alright. I've been in your situation before. Just never thought the tables would quite turn this way. Thanks for being awesome, and for being yourself (though I guess the two really are the same thing, right?). See ya.

As Alex quite rightfully pointed out, my blog really isn't all that "daily". I guess you could visit daily and reread my old posts, because they're that awesome right? :D But yeah, I don't know. I guess my blogs aren't really a place where I tell about what I did every day, more a place to share interesting ideas or things that I think of. So I'll try to think more often from now on. It's difficult though. Life's pretty mundane, I try to avoid thinking because it just makes my head hurt.

But I was watching Happy Feet, and I realised that it's actually a rather apt metaphor regarding the conflict that arises when the new generation faces the previous one, or when new theories challenge old. If you haven't seen the film, a singing Emperor Penguin colony faces starvation due to a fish shortage. After many adventures of a single mutated penguin who cannot sing, it eventually comes down to an epic showdown as the old guard sings against the new generation's dancing. It seems pretty even, until the arrival of the humans as predicted by the mutated penguin tips the tables in the favour of the singers. I think it just demonstrates the inevitability of the triumph of new over old. Although at the end, the colony is shown singing AND dancing, showing that perhaps synergy of both old and new is required to advance.
As I said, very apt. Maybe the only way for society to advance is to blend both old and new; I think all people can agree that the world as it stands now is not perfect. I'm sure we can all think of SOMETHING we'd like to change and make better. But maybe completely changing the whole world won't work either?

Things to think about, I guess

Friday, June 4, 2010

I think you're...

I think you're really really awesome. Yes, you!

Learned a new word recently. "Epikicity". Pronounciation is still in the works, but look at it. Bask in it's epikicity. That's right. "Epikicity" is itself epikicitic. Did I just make a new word? :O

Finished reading the main Honor Harrington story arc, waiting on book 12 (should come out some time in June/July, apparently). Also waiting on book 4 in the A Desert Called Peace series, no time for completion yet. Military science fiction, yay!

Have been encouraged to branch out from that, though. So...A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson, is at the very top of my 'to read' list. :) Thanks Janmay! Have also been meaning to have a look at Philip K. Dick, apparently he has awesome science fiction/fantasy/alternate history kind of stuff, definitely perks my interest.

On the music front, still going with the techno/hardstyle blend. MrChitotheHardStyler, on Youtube, has an AWESOME collection of his own stuff, and tracks from other artists. Check it out!

My mouse broke recently. I think the frayed wires were shortcircuting my laptop whenever I plugged it in. So went and played Runescape for a while, using touchpad. Stole my sister's mouse today (yesterday). It's a piece of rubbish. Logitech, and PINK. The cord is way too short, and it'll often move the mouse to the complete opposite side of the screen that I'm trying to move it, for no apparent reason at all. Oh well. Mouse is better than no mouse at all. And it's a little less responsive, as I found out to my shock when playing Modern Warfare 2 today.

On that note, Modern Warfare 2. Had five harriers today, but not a single chopper gunner. I think I'm starting to lose my touch. I did manage to get to 10-0 at one point, until some lightweight+marathon knifer spawned behind me and knifed me. Sigh. Need that one nuke. Maybe I ought to stop sniping...pretty fun though. Highrise, Terminal, are now my two favourite maps. Quarry isn't bad either. Karachi and Favela are still the two maps I utterly despise.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Just a lonely lad

Just a lonely lad,
Just a sorry sad,
Just a mixed-up mad,
Just a fucking fad,
Just a has-been had.

First day of Uni he's a happy boy,
Fourth day of Uni he's some girl's toy,
Tenth day of Uni his life's sucked of joy,
Now everything he sees he just wants to destroy,
All your fault.

So he's doing things that his heart can't condone,
Trying to make up for the fact that he's alone,
Doing things that others have already outgrown,
Every night waiting for your call on the telephone,
It won't come.

He sees people he knows but he doesn't even wave,
Sometimes he smiles, just to be brave,
But underneath that front, he's ready to cave,
Inside his mind he's just rant and rave,
Never be happy again.

Surround him with people and he'll just withdraw,
Finds all the social chitchat a bloody bore,
And even when he finds himself at Hell's maw,
It's himself he'll rely on, his own personal law,
Doesn't even care.

He pretends to follow the latest craze,
Hides his thoughts behind a distant gaze,
Or maybe his mind's running through a maze,
Just making motions going through the days,
Staying alive for what.

He copes by buying games to play,
Just living his life from day to day,
If someone asks, he's doing okay,
Can't find a way to let out what he wants to say,
So he writes a rhyme.

- Oliver Jiang
2nd of June, 2010