Swimming against the current

Pretty good metaphor for Life, isn't it? In a way, I guess that's what we're all trying to do, in some way or another. Maybe it's acting outside the social norm, doing what feels comfortable to you, not caring about what others think. Maybe it's defying your conservative parents and keeping an open mind about things. Maybe it's that you're actually swimming against a current, in which case all the best of luck to you.

I'm at this point where I want to move forward, and yet there's just all these little things that keep holding me back. Sure, just one thing at a time, I could deal with it. But it's like I'm trying to kick a soccer ball out of a really really big ditch; little taps won't get it out, but I just can't find the strength to make that one massive effort required.

Coupled with a lack of sleep (averaging 5-6 hours a night), and I'm starting to stress out a bit. Can't focus in lectures, too worried about other things to really contribute in tutorials. I even managed to take a five day break in CoD without trying, and even when I did play again, I switched my Automatic Rifle kit from the ACR to the M4, because the M4 has a deeper heavier beefier sound to it, making it far more satisfying to fire. Plus the solid thunk of the SPAS, and it's about the closest thing to sex that I can imagine.

I feel so very alone.

It's cold.

I just want to hide under my blankets and never come out.

I might come out to read Honor Harrington.

It's a good series.

The weather sucks.