And such is life...

Hey uptown girl, can you hear this downtown song? - Anberlin, "Uptown Song"

Well, Jonh's been telling me to update my blog. And now's a good a time as any, I guess...

My paternal grandmother died this morning. A stroke, from what I've been told. Her second one in a couple of months. I was over in China just a month ago, and she looked absolutely fine. Just goes to reinforce just how fragile life really is. She may not have gotten along all the best with my mother, but deep down, she really did care. Rest in peace, 奶奶.

And so now it comes to what happens after she's gone. The cremation is in two days. My father, as the eldest son, will be leading the funeral rites. As the eldest grandson, I should be there. It is my filial duty. But there's not a chance in Hell I can make it. I feel obligated to do...something.

I worry about my grandfather. He's always been a lot more sickly than my grandmother, and in many respects she looked after him, perhaps to at her own cost. And now he'll be all alone in that tiny apartment. If something does happen...how will anyone know? But all my relatives over there are too busy to be able to look after him all day. And the concept of a retirement home doesn't exist in China. I don't know. I hope he's alright.

Like raindrops falling through the air, life trickles away. How will you spend yours?

I've just spent 30 minutes looking for that book which had my paternal family tree. Can't find it. Realised how little I actually knew about my grandmother. Don't know her given name. Don't know her birthdate. Don't know anything. And now that she's gone, I regret not trying to get to know her better. She was family, and family is everything, after all.

奶奶
王？？
？？？？年？？月？？日 - 2010年8月12日