Monday, August 31, 2009

Insecurity

Much thanks to Hungy and Maddi for being my only followers ^^ Oh, and 0 comments on my last post was kinda disappointing. Oh well, I blame Chem SAC XD

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Jokes. What is a joke? An attempt to humorise an object, person, or situation. But why? It is my ardent belief that jokes are a sort of survival tool used by people to belittle or play down or rationalise situations. But, at the same time, jokes are used to make oneself feel good by making oneself feel like they belong to the majority. It feels good to belong, and people are always afraid of being an outsider. Laughter shows other people as being ostracised, excluded, decreasing their chance of succesful reproduction. Humour is thus a biological trait to improve one's own chances of producing offspring. You make fun of those that may be fitter than you (fit in the sense of being able to produce children) because, secretly, you are afraid of them. In essence, when you make a joke, you're revealing a hidden fear, giving insight into what scares you. Every time you tell a joke, you're showing an insecurity about yourself, whether that joke be about sex, women, money, Polish people, blondes, etc. etc. You make fun of them because you're not one of them.

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Just a note to everyone that professional formal photos will be on sale tomorrow at the Hockey Pavilion for $10 each; if you miss out tomorrow, they'll be around on Friday as well.

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Memory of the day: Start of this year, I was on the tram on the way to Richmond pool for Senior Swimming (yes, because apparently I can't swim...). Some lady on the tram got pissed off at all the MHS kids (there were a LOT of us) for filling up the space. When Faisal tried to explain to her that he couldn't physically make more room, she started screeching about how she was "older and so deserved respect."

Sorry Ms, but respect must be earned through one's actions. What you did? Hell no am I going to respect you. Respect cannot be so freely given.

Respect for someone does not imply that you like them; rather, it acknowledges their proficiency, skill, or experience. Thus, elderly people are immediately worthy of respect due to their obvious survival skill in achieving old age; not only that, but with age comes experience. When the age gap is smaller, however, actions speak louder than words; what you do is how people will judge you. Complain loudly about a bunch of teenage boys on the train, and then demand respect? Dream on. I'd sooner respect Hitler (and I do).

Kids these days have no respect. Some Year 11 guy today called me "nigger" after I didn't throw his tennis ball back to him. Next time he does that, I swear I'm going to throw that ball into the carpark next to the N building. Why must he respect me? Because I'm older, more experienced. And while you may see a contradiction with what I have written before, I see none. Because I am older, more experienced, there is a certain baseline of respect that should be accorded to me. Through negative actions, I can revoke that respect, but upon first contact the paying of proper respect is simple politeness. Perhaps my failure to return his tennis ball in a timely manner was such a shock that all potential respect for me was lost. While you're at it, why don't you start abusing people for breathing your air?

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dreams

"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one." James Anthony Froude.

Dreams are, ultimately, nothing more than an attempt by the brain to decieve itself, to persuade the rational side to be irrational, to believe in the impossible, to hope for that which will never come to pass. Give me a dream, and I will show you a two-edged sword, a broken promise, a shameless lie. But such is the power of a dream, that many a man has fallen to it's poisoned lure; Lincoln - Hitler - Mao - Obama. Look how far their dreams got them. A cold grave (or, in Hitler's case, cyanide and a 'warm' sendoff). To the common man, dreams are merely a temptation to keep them happy with their current circumstances, secure in the knowledge that there is a possibility of things getting better. But here's Reality for you. Things will never get better. Get used to your backbreaking 10 hour job, because the only way you'll get out of it is in a coffin.

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It is almost impossible trying to find piano sheets for Chinese songs. If anyone can find sheet music for 甜蜜蜜 (Tian Mi Mi) by 邓丽君 (Teresa Teng), could you please send it my way? :)
On that note (haha, pun intended), song requests are always open. I'll keep them up there for a day at most, no more than one song per person per day.

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Memory of the day: Year 11, Hari sends me a song by Flobots called Handlebars. I watch the video on Youtube. It's amazing, moving, touching. It's message still resonates with me today. I encourage you all to go see it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuK2A1ZqoWs and decide for yourself.
I'm going to keep it at the top of my playlist for a day.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Balance

Well, since so many people disliked my music, the music player has been removed. Despite asking for people to send me songs that they liked so I could put it up there, all they did was complain. So it's gone. Shame. All this download limit and nothing to waste it on.

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Everything in Nature is about balance. Male/Female. Life/Death. Black/White. Up/Down. Left/Right. Fire/Water. Earth/Sky. Right/Wrong. Hot/Cold. Good/Bad. Life will often oscillate between two extremes, but remember that, for every bad day, there is a good day coming. It's like karma, but for life, rather than for your actions. Even when things seem absolutely horrible and there's no possible way it can get any worse, all that means it that things can only go uphill from there. The glass isn't empty; it's just not full right now.

This inherent balance in Nature is applicable to everything, a sort of all-pervading state of homestasis, if you will. Balance is everything. With the good comes the bad. With the bad comes the good. You think you're happy now, but sadness is inevitable.

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Passed by PLC today. Massive. Rich school. =="

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Galactic Circus is freaking awesome. Thanks for the invite, Sam ^^ M9 is great. Definitely will go back there when year is over. It's like room clearance, but with a billion little kids running around. And you get to shoot them! Got the perfect plan for next time...

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Had a retarded as all fuck dream. But I know not to trust my dreams. Dreams are for the foolish, the weak, those who still have hope for something better. And yet...I can't get it out of my head.

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Memory of the day: First day of Year 7. Thinking that none of my class looked very intelligent, so we couldn't have been the ALP class. Then finding out that we were the ALP class. Relief on other people's faces too...guess I don't look very smart. I'm not. Thought Man-Hin and Sam were twins. :) Didn't know anyone. Lonely. Kinda got used to that, through year 7. Only contact I had with outside classes was...PE, and debating.

Friday, August 28, 2009

mp3 players

Due to a request by Hungy, today's blog will be somewhat shorter than normal. As compensation, expect tomorrow's to be longer. :)

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Every morning on the train, on the bus, on the way to school, I observe all kinds of people listening to mp3 devices, totally removed from the rest of the world. It's like they've been insulated in some of kind invisible bubble, thousands upon thousands of them descending upon the city every morning like some greyish mass of humanity. But at what cost? Sure, you can swap music, and that's pretty sociable, but at the end of the day, when you're on the train with four other guys, and no-one's talking because they're all listening to music...that's just sad. This isn't like the Internet creating anti-socials, because the Internet is the greatest tool for mass communication that exists today. But mp3 players? You're just rebuilding the Tower of Babel, seperating the population in a jumble of people who are unable to communicate with one another because, even if they desired to do so, the other party would not be able to hear them. You're creating a society in which everyone listens, but no-one speaks.

Yes, I'm a hypocrite. I'll gladly don my headphones every morning, afternoon and night. But hey, what else is there to do? Silence is deafening.

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Just finished the first three books of the Alex Rider series, and they're pretty good. Not as good as, say, Matthew Rielly, but still good nonetheless. Fancy gadgets, sure, but usually only one use, and rarely more than two or three each book. Anthony Horowitz can really piece together a good plot.

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Note to anyone wishing to buy any of the professional pictures from the Melbourne High School Year 12 Formal 2009, they'll be available for purchase next Tuesday 1st September at the Hockey Pavilion.

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Memory of the day: Grade 6, Cross country. My vice captain and I agreed to run across the line together and so finish equal first, thus increasing the point value of our victory by a bit, and relegating the next person to measly third place. We pulled it off, handily. Looking back, I was a bit of a bastard...fun, though, that's for sure.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Bus ride

Music player has been disabled until I can find a stable host for my music files that actually links me to the page that it's located, not some download page. If you can help, that'd be great.

*update* New one added, the right side gets cut off, but have a look and see if it works. Any song suggestions are welcome :)

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Francis - "I'll sleep you with some time, Vino."
Nice to see that Francis and Vino are such..."close...friends. ;)

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Got to school late today...left the house at 7:42 and saw the 7:47 bus leaving. Managed to get onto a bus that came at 7:53, though, but for a while there I was completely lost. So, the question is, am I truly the bus driver of my life, or am I merely a passenger to Fate? Was thinking about it, and I think that it's a mixture of the two. Of course, everyone's life is dictated by Fate. But, along the way, I can steer it in particular directions. Think of life as a stream, constantly carving a new path. Ultimately, the stream will always flow downhill. But along the way, a variety of factors can affect the path that it takes. Rock type, soil type, plants, animals...even the tiniest ant can dam potential paths.

If you're ever lost in a really cold location, like Antarctica or Greenland, wherever the temperature is below 0 degrees Celsius, do NOT warm yourself by exercising. Exercising means sweating, and sweat will freeze, encasing your body in a suit of ice, leading to immobilization and possibly death. Something that seems to be a logical choice can have deadly consequences...even if the consequences do not logically flow on from the action. But, hey, we're humans, possibly the most irrational beings around. Which other animal will cry when their breeding partner sleeps will another individual?

Things are better now. Had a good talk, managed to work some things out. I have hope. But...will leave everything else till after exams, for both people concerned. Go get your 99.95 :)

To all you stargazers out there, for the next three weeks, Saturn's rings will be invisible as they will be lined up exactly with Earth. From one side to the other, those rings are 300,000km wide...and have a thickness of barely 15km. Happens once every 15 years...encourage you all to go take a look.

Memory of the day: 1995, four years old, in China during Autumn. Sitting on my uncle's bike as he tried to ride through mud. We got stuck. Can't remember anything else of that visit...but I remember that bike ride. Strange, what one remembers as we get older...it's not the extraordinary times, important as they are, it's the normal times, the times that all is at peace in our Universe.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Opportunities

Before I get started, I just want to thank Annie for passing along the info regarding adding an mp3 player onto the Sidebar. Yes, you are extremely inspirational ^^

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OJ: "As they say, the window of opportunity is very small."
Steve: "So use the door."
How often have we been so focused on the path that we have picked, the options that we see, that we forget to take a moment to see if there's a better way? Why try to climb through the window when you haven't even tried the doorknob? Is there something you haven't thought of yet? Life often leaves the keys under the doormat, the fake rock, the flowerpot. Just because we haven't found it yet doesn't mean that it isn't there.

This morning, as I was taking the train from Richmond to South Yarra, I noticed a small bird bravely flying alongside. The very next instant, that tranquil image was replaced by a train lurching past us at incredible speed. I didn't see what happened to the bird, but I knew somehow then that it was dead. Made me wonder...am I the bird or the train? Am I blindly flying to my downfall without regard for others, or am I causing the downfall of others?

I nearly finished the entire puzzle page in today's mX paper. Completed the Sudoku, Jumble, WordScrimmage, and about 3/4 of the Crossword. Simple achievement, in the greater scheme of things, but I feel more accomplished than finishing today's English SAC.

On the bus earlier, coming home from North Shore, a man on the bus pressed the stop button, but the light didn't light up. Not realising this, he got up to disembark, fully expecting the bus to stop at the next stop. Quick as a flash, the lady directly across from me hit her button and the bus stopped just in time. The man got off, never realising that he had been saved that tiny bit of trouble because of a well-meaning stranger. Made me wonder how many times I've gone through life not realising that there's someone out there looking after me, clearing the way, making things a bit easier.

Memory of the day: Year 9, first day of school, arrived late. 8:45 train from Richmond, by the time we got to school all the Year 9's were going into the Memorial Hall and we managed to tag onto the end. Nervous about new school, but Steve and Kevin were both in my class so it wasn't too bad, plus Hungy and Bill were around at recess/lunch. New beginning...felt good.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Crossroads

Just a note, before I get into things; Peter Zhang notified me that non-members were denied access to post comments. That's now be recitified, so comment if you please :)

So here I am, on the eve of the sole English SAC for this term, and I find myself at a crossroads in life. A myriad of possibilities for the future stretch away from this one point in time...and, having paid the adequate fees, Life has kindly posted a couple of signposts. These signposts, my friends, my dear friends, have helped me rule out some paths already...others are still open. Where to go? The only thing I can do wrong...is to do nothing at all.

Been thinking of a couple of story ideas, since I like to write and it's fun to think.
First off, an alternate future set in America, in which Germany won World War I and went on to conquer the rest of the world. A group of isolated American rebels, led by the beautiful but enigmatic Emma Roosevelt, fight to throw off the yoke of the German world.
Second, well, kinda a sci-fi thriller. Theory states that telosomes, long repeat sections at the end of chromosomes, may be responsible for the ageing process; they get shorter with each reproduction, and reproduction happens with time. Thus, the length of a telosome is almost like a biological calendar. If it were possible to stop the shortening of telosomes...well, who knows.

Last senior sport session, this Thursday. It'll be a sad day...the finality of year 12 is really starting to hit home. I'm going to miss looking forward to the physical exertion that Thursday afternoons always promised. European handball...my new favourite sport. Not any good at it, but it's fun.

Heavy rain, today. Hail, in some parts. I hope all you guys out there in hail-affected regions are alright, staying safe. Just Nature letting us know she isn't especially pleased, right now. Spring's coming, so sunny days are just ahead :) Wish I could say the same for Year 12. Or my life in general, actually.

Memory of the day:
Day before Good Friday, 1995. Easter Egg hunt. Stepped on one of the eggs, broke it. One of the girls gave me a really wierd stare. Kindergarten...good times. Didn't even worry about school, or education, or life, or girls. Just nap time. *yawn*. Could use a good nap time.

New blog

So, I've got a new blog. I'm going to do this one serious, too. Cause...well, I've grown up a bit, I think. A lot. Perception of my surroundings, of my life, has changed. I'm no longer the person I was a year ago.

Up until about a week ago, I had settled into a pretty good routine. Friends I could talk to, gossip with, trust. School was routine, life was pleasant. Even my relationship with my family had settled down to manageable levels (no more late-night arguments). Oh, how naive I was. Peace, so easily won, could not have lasted long.

I'm in some deep shit, now. Said some things I guess I shouldn't have, pursued a topic of discussion when it was clearly the wrong thing to do. Can't take back anything I've said, but hell, you've made me pay for it. I miss you. Can we please talk? Don't know if you'll even see this...don't know if you even care any more. I do. You're everything to me.

Seems like everyone's all grown up now. I mean, one moment we're playing four square in the schoolyard, getting to know each other after moving from different schools, and now we're preparing for the rest of our lives, about to seperate for the final time. Where'd all the time go? I miss being a kid. I'd give anything to go back to when nothing mattered. Carefree days of idyllic existance punctuated by brief but distant bursts of reality. Memory is Man's greatest gift, as well as his greatest curse.

A close friend said to me today, as she was leaving MSN for the night, that we had a good "D&M", Deep and Meaningful. Hadn't thought about it that way, to tell you the truth, but now that I look at it, that's what we had. But at the time, it just seemed like talking, no unusual emotional connections or anything. Does that mean everything I do is deep and meaningful, to someone? Maybe I need to start paying more attention to my actions (and inactions, as the case may be). Everything has an effect, even nothing.

To more physical, realistic, mundane things; Hungy gave me Firefly today! Thanks Vince, I'll get it back to you asap. Biology SAC tomorrow, I'm about a third of the way done now...and it's 12:35am. Joy oh joy. Another late night for me. Apparently I'm unblocked from Stooph/Hungy/Wong's blog, so it'll be good to catch up on the comings and goings there. It's been about 10 days since the Formal, and everyone's already moved on...biggest news of note recently is that Charles was called up to dance at Assembly (out of the 600 guys present) along with the Principal and Mr Wood, amongst others. Oh, and according to Francis, there's a hot Asian student teacher in the music department. MHS guys, I swear =="

Memory of the day: September 11, 2001.
Lucy Feng's family arrives at Melbourne International Airport from China.
Garrett's 11th birthday.
Normal Grade 4 school day.
3,017 people of various nationalities are killed in the 9/11 attacks in New York, Virginia and Pennsylvania. Footage of the two jumbo jets slamming into the North and South Towers are embedded in my memory. The Falling Man becomes my desktop wallpaper.

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